Search This Blog

19 March 2018

Just Girly Things

It's 2am and my phone rings. It's the same damn thing; some guy you kissed once, 'hey - u up?'. Well I am now, Derek. Thanks. And you linger, unsure what to reply until you wake up nine hours later, phone still in hand and realise that this, this might not be the right guy.

Fine. It's just girly things.

It's all sparkly ugg boots and chai tea soya half fat non fat cream no cream lattes, one shot nice and mild until you're two days late for your period, and your brain screams DEAR GOD I AM NOT READY TO BE WITH CHILD.

It's okay though - because you're on the pill, or some other 'miracle' contraceptive that still sets your mood on the downhill. You'd tell your GP but you know what they'll say; it's a myriad of awful side effects, or baby.

...Maybe I am ready to be with child?

No. Okay fine.

So you laugh and spend your rent money on eighteen different colours of eyeshadow you know you'll never wear because it makes the period pain just a little easier to bare. You thank god you don't have endometriosis, because it usually takes eight years for doctors to believe your pain and give a diagnosis.

Every time we use a tampon, we're afraid we'll get TSS. Menstrual cups are better, but also a bit of a mess. But all that seems unimportant when you consider that there are women in the UK who have to stuff their pants full of old newspapers to get through, and that free sanitary products for girls on free school meals is a policy well overdue.

Ha, ha. Just Girly Things.

Some days you're getting along, walking down the street listening to your favourite song. You feel on top of the world, sun in your hair and a spring in your step - then you remember the wage gap, and realise you'll never get an equal pay cheque.

You try to broach the subject with a male colleague or friend, but all this talk of inequality just drives them around the bend - and besides, it doesn't happen because it's never happened to them!

It's all okay though, because fairy lights and matching lingerie sets. Just Girly Things.

A friend tells you that your ex is back on Tinder, and even though it's been months, and you're feeling pretty good - hey, you've even been on a few great dates, you still feel like a kitten that's been slapped in the face. You jump right on Bumble to review the talent in your matches, and then remember you hate the concept of having to send the first message. You log out and quietly mourn all the great catches.

JuST GIrLy THingS. 

You can't remember the last time you walked down your own street without some man calling out to you, turning you into a piece of meat. At the same time, you think intensely about how much money you'd be worth to a potential suitor in Jane Austen's times. You hope it's in the thousands, or somewhere along those lines. You think that the fashions of the regency era were just great, and then because of women's media and encouragement of self hate, you have that sudden unexpected nagging feeling that you should be constantly on a diet and trying to lose weight.

During that time of the month, reports say you burn 100 extra calories per day. Fantastic! You use this as an excuse to eat double your RDA.


You set aside five to ten minutes of each week to either explain to someone why a woman's body is not public property, or to be exhausted by yet another politician ignoring this fact. People so often equate female frustration and passion with hysteria, that you are constantly aware of the need to argue with excess tact.

You often think about that man who took a picture up your skirt in the McDonald's queue, and grow quietly infuriated that you were far too frightened to just say 'Fuck you.'.

Finally, you crawl into bed after a hard long day and remember that even unicorns aren't real and all scented candles eventually burn out and you realise that maybe, just maybe, glitter is not going to stop Dave from work touching your butt when you go to the kitchen to grab a Fanta, all in the name of some apparently harmless banter.

Ah, Just Girly Things.

MANGO coat, ZARA dungarees, AMAZON headband, RADLEY bag (c/o), CONVERSE shoes.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful - love the way you've written this. You've really hit the nail on the head for so many of these points in such an eloquent way.

    Also, the thing about Bumble is just too real! That was me every time!!

    Elizabeth xx


Copyright @ Camilla Ackley. Blog Design by KotrynaBassDesign