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03 November 2017

Finding That Sweet Spot

As you can clearly tell from the title,  today I am going to be talking to you about the art of finding your g-spot. That's right, it's an art - not a science.

I'm kidding. Dear lord I'm kidding. I can just about locate my own body parts with a map - I am not the woman to help you locate yours. 

No, the title of this blog post is actually referencing something that explicitly involves not being naked (as per the entire premise of this fashion blog). Excuse my brazen entry into this post - I've been listening to The Guilty Feminist podcast non-stop since Wednesday when an intense headache meant I simply had to FEAHABB (Fuck everything and have a bubble bath) and I needed some non-visual entertainment to match my scented candles. Anyway, It's made me feel bolder than I usually might. 

Over the last few months, I've been thinking a lot about what I feel good wearing - you know, when you put something on and you think 'this, this, is who I want to be'. I don't mean when you put something aspirational on and wish you were the type of woman who always wore pearls and D&G gowns, but when you wear an outfit that makes you feel like your best self.  The thing that matches up to every vision in your head of how you want to look - like when you actually look like your best selfie IRL. When you wear clothes that make you feel cool, but not out of your comfort zone. I'm running out of ways to describe this feeling - but it's a feeling I want to be acquainted with every day. I want to invent my own style sweet spot, my comfort zone.

When I was a teen, I was crazy about minimalism - I didn't own a dot of colour. At University, I stopped thinking so much about clothes because other things took over (life, vodka, essays - in that order) and I quickly adapted to university friendly clothing (comfy, can withstand hours in a library and also get you into a club). But I did miss that element of feeling sharp - when you put something on and feel instantly well dressed in a personal way, like you're putting your best self out. 

It was only in the last few months of university that I started to think more and more about what I was wearing, and the thought of getting dressed excited me again. But, neither of those old wardrobes felt like 'me' anymore - university had made me more laid back than my teen self, and a lot of my university clothes felt out of place once I started to set up home in London. I wasn't sure what I wanted to wear - I thought the best way to tackle it was to get back to basics; what do I like? Taking it item by item instead of conceptualising a whole wardrobe meant I was buying funner pieces, with colours and patterns (my mum was so happy about this) and pushing myself to wear the things that I knew I loved, but maybe felt foreign to me. Shopping is not a revolutionary concept - but building a wardrobe full of bits that make you feel awesome is important - you should feel good in what you wear. I feel very much like I'm in the throes of (passion, lol) finding my personal style. It's a learning curve, but so is this whole period of my post-graduate life. The whole thing is very new, shiny and requires a little bit of re-invention.

A lot of people will tell you that you should think about how well an item will sit within your wardrobe before you buy it - that's all fine and well. But, I think I'd rather have a wardrobe full of things I liked than things that matched - I'm up for the daily challenge of making it all work somehow. It's part of the fun. Having sat at two ends of a style spectrum (three, if you include my pre-teen emo phase - but let's not), I knew that my comfort zone sat somewhere between the them. So sometimes, maybe we just need to say 'to hell with practicality, I have no idea what this will match in my closet, but I want to wear it'.  A method that seems a little reckless might just lead to a more interesting wardrobe, and a personal style that is truly personal. Getting dressed in the morning feels like an activity now, a challenge and most importantly; it's fun again. 

It's a process, but letting go a little bit means I'm slowly finding a style sweet spot and feeling myself.

ZARA blazer and shoes, GIVENCHY bag (here), H&M jumper (similar), Kilt from a tourist shop in Scotland (similar here)


  1. I used to be really in to fashion but also realised I went to uni and just stopped caring. In my final year when I decided I did care I was too deep into my student overdraft to even try and put the effort in again. It's something I've done more since I've started working. I am the same though - I buy what I like and think about all the matching later!

  2. Gosh I've heard of the Guilty Feminist, and gotta admit that feminist podcasts DOES tend to make me feel bolder than I actually am, haha! Also totally relate on how being well dressed certainly does feel like putting our best self out there. What you said about constructing a more interesting wardrobe but also one that feels more personal is so true and important.
    Omg, how have I just found your blog now?? Your content is stunning! I have so much love for this look, I love your style. Really classy with a touch of vibrance as well. Gorgeous photos! Just followed you on Bloglovin, happy weekend xx

    Joanne | With Risa: A Lifestyle Blog

  3. cool shoes! I like the soles!


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